For The College Girl That Feels Behind

I understand. I truly understand. Another entire year of college has passed and you still feel like you haven’t reached some of the goals that you originally set out to reach. You came to college so excited to experience the thrill, make life long memories, and to create this amazing legacy that you’ve always dreamed of. You came full of excitement at the thought of making friends with your freshman roommate that would one day be the god parent of one of your future children. You came to college on the prayer that success would one day be yours and no one, and I do mean no one, could have ever told you that it can’t happen. But … what do you do when none of that seemed to happen for you? You begin to notice that the other people in your class seem to have these amazing friendships, accepted into every research program that they apply to, and have 50 different summer internship opportunities to accept but you feel so behind and incapable of measuring up to them because you have none of that.

You’re in a process right now that is going to make you praise God all the more when your time comes.

My sister, you STILL are a success. Even though you may not feel like you aren’t because of what other people around you have but that’s just that. It’s what THEY have. Because your hands are empty right now, it makes you more open, available, and capable of grasping the supernatural blessings that are coming your way. So what if your GPA isn’t a 3.8 or that you didn’t make the cut for the leadership position that you’ve always wanted in that organization? You’re in a process right now that is going to make you praise God all the more when your time comes. If no one else has told you then please allow me to be the first to say that I am extremely proud of you and am in awe at your strength, endurance, and ambition. Girl, #YouDidThat! Don’t stress over feeling like your potential isn’t enough! Stop stressing over feeling like your best still isn’t good enough for the best! You keep giving your best and you keep doing what you can to get to where you want to be.


Be proud of every single bit of growth and achievement that you accomplish because no one knows how much fight you’ve had to put in to even be in the place that you’re in now. Never discredit yourself for how far you have come and for how far you still have to go. Your full potential is never your final level because your personal bar of success will continue to raise as you continue to climb. Learn to truly celebrate yourself while still applying healthy pressure to be your absolute best. I don’t care if everyone in the room “seems” to have it all figured out and working in their favor, YOU keep focused on your own path and love every moment of it. As you keep pressing forward I’ll be right next to you cheering you on and constantly repeating  “you can do it” (Philippians 4:13). Love your process and celebrate you at every chance that you get! You deserve it.


Full of love,

Kay ❤


Encouragement For The 20’s

There was once a time when life was simple and the toughest decisions we had to make was whether or not we wanted to use our cherry lip balm or roll on sparkly lip gloss. We lived without a care in the world, but then as time went on we’ve began to face even more challenging decisions for our present and future lives. Constantly having to deal with friendships, college, deciding if that job opportunity is our chance, if the guy is the right one, and many other persistent life choices that come with the territory of getting older can begin to weigh on us. On top of those challenging situations becoming a young adult, there’s sometimes those hidden issues that make those decision choices a bit more difficult. Feeling like you’re not enough to fulfill that position and calling, thinking that God is so disappointed in your journey with Him, and still lacking the know of what your purpose is can make this entire adult thing called life way more difficult than it needs to be. Being on shaky ground for one or more of these topics can make us feel down and have a slow momentum being the kick butt and fabulous young women we were created to be. But sis, here’s a few words of encouragement to help you untangle those ropes and make the transition and process better to operate through.

1. Feeling Incompetent Through Condemnation

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1 NIV)

Condemnation- (n) the expression of very strong disapproval

As hard as it may be sometimes due to the standards of society and the pressure from environmental stressors, you are good enough for your assignment! When we accepted Jesus Christ as our savior and confessed to now live in Him, that came with the crown of confidence. So what if you don’t think you’re smart enough, beautiful enough, or bold enough to carry out the purpose and calling that that God has spoken to you numerous times. You, my dear, are more than qualified to fulfill that position and to be absolutely amazing at it. The enemy wants you to feel like the requirements to wear the badge is more strenuous than it really is. Satan wants to condemn you and make you think yourself out of the promises of God and Sis, the closer you get to that promise the louder he will whisper into your ear the negative thoughts. When you catch yourself entertaining the thoughts of not being good enough, feed yourself Romans 8:1.

2.  Feeling Behind on Your Journey with Christ

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15 NIV)

Journey- (n) the act of traveling from one place to another

Okay, so you feel like you should be further in your relationship with Christ. To whose standards are you measuring your relationship to? We have to be very careful in the Kingdom to not compare our relationship with Christ to another’s relationship. It’s great to desire more of Him daily but it’s important also continue to embrace the relationship in the place that it is in. If you want to see growth, seek Christ more by setting intentional Jesus dates where it’s just you and Him with no distractions. You can journal, drink coffee and rest in His presence, and read your word more than you already do. To those who feel like God doesn’t want anything to do with you because of wrong turns you’ve made in your past, I’m here to tell you that is not true. Just because there was a wrong turn does not mean that the U-turn that you did to get back to Him is invalid. Christ loves us unconditionally and is ready to grow with us the moment we decide to take this journey with Him. You’re not behind in this! You’re moving and pursuing at the speed you’re meant to experience Him at. Take in every sweet moment and bask in His peace and love.

3. Still Not Knowing Your Purpose

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)

Purpose- (n) The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

Not knowing the reasons we are here in this world makes navigating through it even harder than it already is. Trust me, I questioned my purpose for almost three years when I finally realized that there is a reason God created me. It made exploring my identity and being confident in everything that I did so hard because I constantly felt like I was winging it through. Because of that process, my purpose began to be revealed. Often when we feel that we lack the definition of who we are and what we are here to do, we will shut everything out until we can point out exactly what it is we’re created to do. But this strategy actually makes it even harder to expose! Get out, explore your passions, and delight yourself in Christ through it all. Through encounters and those sparks that begin to happen your purpose becomes revealed to you. Continue to operate in joy and hope through it all. Your purpose will flourish!

Through reminding yourself of the word and love of Christ, operating through this challenge of Young Womanhood begins to be a little easier and better to handle. The next time you begin to feel the ground to shake, always go back to the word. Your purpose, relationship, and confidence from Him makes things easier to handle. And while you may not feel like you can do it, always remember that I believe that you can. We’re in this together with Christ.



Falling in Love With Him

Recently I’ve caught myself having a long discussion with a group of friends about the subject of love. During this conversation one statement that caught my attention that came out of my mouth was “I just want to love”. Yes, me as Kay and not India Arie, stated that I am ready for love. But after saying this comment, conviction quickly swept over me that could only come from the Holy Spirit. How could someone be ready to love? Do they fill out an application and get verified for this “position”? But wait… Shouldn’t we as children of God already be loving? Shouldn’t we already have that ready heart to heavy love anyone? And not be “in training” to be ready to love? OR are too many of us not fully invested in our relationship with Him?

BOOM! You guessed it. Many of us, including myself, need to take that extra bowl of sugar, spice, and everything nice and pour it into our love for Christ. Recently I’ve been hooked listening to Unstoppable Love by Jesus Culture (if you haven’t listened to it, check it out!). The lyrics of this song just shows HOW much God loves us despite who we may be on the inside, what sin we may be trapped in, and how amazing His heart and opinion is towards us. Now, knowing that a man is pursuing us would make any young lady feel like the most amazing woman in the world but… how come so many of us don’t feel the same about God constantly pursuing us to be His bride? Why don’t be gaze in His wonders and dwell in His presence as we would want to if He were the hottest guy around? Why don’t we cancel out plans simply so He can have our full attention? We’ve gotten so comfortable with an associate type of relationship. My sisters, it’s time for us to have a futuristic love with the man who sent His ONLY son to die for our sins. (John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends.) It’s time to invest our heart into someone who can protect and repair us even in our seemingly unfix-able state of form. It is time to spend more time with the one who holds our identity and can provide us strength on the days that we can’t even look ourselves in the mirror.

It is now our turn to participate in the relationship and deepen the love that we have for the sweet presence of our savior! Change your conversation from India Arie lyrics to your own personal declaration of the type of love you want to encounter with Christ in a totally new dimension. Through this deepening, it will literally be mind blowing the places He will take you, the dreams He will give you, and the growth that will occur. Girl, you can go on a #JesusDate every night and call Him at every hour of the day too! And you can #Facetime Him anytime by simply getting on your knees and crying out to Him, laying your heart at His feet, or asking for His presence in that space. It’s time for us to lift our hearts and be genuine in our love towards God. Extra loving never hurt anyone. 🙂

Let the Bricks Fall

Sometimes we get to a place in life where we feel like we’re pushing a brick wall that refuses to move. We hit a dead end and try to use every bit of the strength inside of us to push that wall out of the way… But the moment we notice that it won’t move we give up and choose to sit, get upset, and cry. I’m not saying it’s wrong to have those moments BUT during those pity parties is when we miss God’s instruction on how to actually get to what’s behind the wall. As a young college student I face a day of great happiness and the next day can be full of stress. One day may be full of good news of opportunities, then the next day is a “no” to the application I submitted. It’s hard. It’s extremely hard. It’s hard to remain motivated and most importantly it’s hard to remain strong in my faith during this time. Everyday I wake with the desire to achieve something to show progression, but I lay to rest at night seeming to have added nothing to my resume. I found myself having the constant questions of “What am I doing wrong?”  and “Why can’t I seem to push this wall down so that I can keep going?”… I was stuck. I wouldn’t listen to God. I wouldn’t allow God’s strength to come through me. It wasn’t until He literally made me have no other source but Him for my rescue that I let God have His way. But here’s the part that I laugh at myself about… I begin to let God move this wall for me but I start complaining at the parts that came tumbling down. I wanted to move forward but not accept the fact that the wall was constructed by the bricks made of wrong friendships, idols of physical things, and most importantly bricks that I had made by using my own desires/dreams that weren’t given by God. Often times we want God to bless those things that He hasn’t even granted to us in the first place. We want to take it to the promise when God didn’t even intend for us to pick it up to build with. We put our hands on a life that we ultimately have no control over.

 Matthew 6:33-34 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I’ve learned that we as humans are major control freaks! Let God have His was (even when you don’t understand) and continue to push against that wall using the strength of God that is within you. YOU shall overcome! The bricks in your wall will come tumbling down but don’t get shaken. Don’t get weary. It may hurt and it may cause you to be angry, but remember the promise that God has waiting for you on the other side of that wall.